Love is not enough.

Perhaps Love is not enough.
You need more. 
I loved fiercely. 100%. Beyond expectations. Beyond measure. Beyond time. 
I quickly forgot the reason behind the argument. I would remember I was pissed but couldn’t always exactly remember why… A few hours would pass and I was annoyed still; but not mad. Still in love.
Apparently I was the only one.

I keep having to remind myself this is real… I wake up after a wonderful dream. I’m awake and I realize i’m in this new life. Stuck. 
I wake up alone.

I read this beautifully written article. I found the article because it’s about my favorite band; Nine Inch Nails (always has been always will be!).
Mostly based on a specific Nine Inch Nails song – “Love is Not Enough”.

It’s a great read. I guess I see it differently than I would have a few months ago before the rug was ripped out from underneath me. 
“Because you need more in life than love.
Love is great. Love is necessary.
Love is beautiful. But love is not enough.”


Starting Over.

Last month marked 13 years together. Next month would have been our 9th wedding anniversary – but we didn’t make it.

On Wednesday I sign the lease on my apartment. Moving away……
How do you split a decade’s worth of possessions?  Who gets the dishes or the sheets?  I honestly don’t give a shit. I want my life back. Stuff is just stuff.

As much as I hate him, I still love him. I know he’s done with me, he’s past this phase in his life but i’m not and it hurts so bad. He fell out of love. It happens I suppose. I just didn’t think it would happen to us. I miss my best friend.